All acts of love and pleasure are my rituals.”
— Doreen Valiente, “The Charge of the Goddess”
Neo-Pagans view the human body and sexuality as sacred. They embrace the physical, seeking not to dominate their bodies or sexual desires through willpower, but to express these natural, physical urges in healthy, joyful, and sacred ways. Neo-Pagans believe there is wisdom in embodiment. This doesn’t mean indulgence without restraint, but rather listening to our bodies instead of repressing or escaping them.
For Neo-Pagans, sexuality is both an expression of and a metaphor for the will to life. Jungian psychoanalyst Edward Whitmont, in Return of the Goddess (1982), explains this:
“Sexuality is more than just nature’s way of ensuring the reproduction of the species. It is also more than pleasure and recreation. Sexuality, as Freud correctly suggested, is a fundamental expression of psychic energy. It is an undifferentiated channel of basic force, of cosmic fire. It pulses into rapturous identification with the life force itself, with its ebb and flow. It moves us through elementary upheavals. It is a channel of power, self-realization, ecstatic transcendence, surrender of self, and renewal. The ancient pagan sexual rites, then, were not merely agricultural or fertility rituals. They were also celebrations of death and rebirth, mysteries meant to experience the Great Goddess and her son, the master of death and rebirth.”
This energy of life is called eros. The erotic is more than sexual—it transcends the superficial and commodified notions of sex in popular culture. The erotic is about connection that is intimate, embodied, and sensual but may or may not involve a sexual component. Christine Hoff-Kraemer offers a quintessential example of non-sexual eroticism: a mother breastfeeding her child.
To truly understand the erotic, it is necessary to de-sexualize ordinary touch. In our culture, touch, especially between people of opposite genders, is often sexualized, leading us to live in a “touch-starved” state. Many long for physical connection so intensely that some may seek unhealthy sexual encounters as a substitute for simple human contact. However, any experience of physical intimacy—whether with another person, with our own bodies, or with the natural world—can satisfy this longing.
Christine Hoff-Kraemer describes the erotic as “a force that urges us toward intimacy, wholeness, and connection.” In this context, the erotic is not confined to lovemaking with a partner; it extends to the embrace of long-separated friends, the cradling of a baby by a parent, or even the intake of breath, the touch of the Sun on one’s skin, or the feeling of grass beneath one’s feet. Neo-Pagans regard these acts as sacred and manifestations of divine presence. They strive to cultivate this vital sense of connection in all aspects of life. This can be achieved through ritual or any spiritual practice that restores our sensual connection to our bodies, each other, or the natural world.
Sexual pleasure is a particularly potent form of erotic experience. It can reconnect us with our sensual and emotional selves, grounding us in the present moment. It has the potential to heal the rift between our psyche and nature, and help us transcend narrow definitions of self. However, sexuality can also be misused. Neo-Pagans condemn coercive or exploitative sexual acts. Some practice sacramental sex, where sexual acts are ritualized. These rituals are always performed between consenting adults.